Relationship Red Flag Signs I ignored

Have you ever been so comfortable in a relationship that you just flow with the motions...? After 7 years of thinking I was dating 'the one', and now a first time single mom, I realized that in life and relationships there are certain Red Flag Signs you just DO NOT ignore.

The hope that I have in sharing this is that that you would take that moment to stop and review your relationships and make the necessary adjustments to move forward healthily. That little reflective moment may just be the turning point you need in your relationship. So without further ado, here are my top Red flag Signs:

1. Projection  Let's dive right in. Projection happens when your partner attributes the very feelings,  impulses and emotions they're feeling onto you - when in actual fact you do not feel any of these. This then leads to false accusations and a false sense of insecurity. If you have reflected and you know for sure these accusations are not the kind of person you are, then the truth is probably that these are actually your partner's own feelings and is often used as a protective mechanism to cover or divert from what is really going on with them.

2. Staying in the familiar comfort zone

It's been a good couple of months, or years and you and partner have now settled in your relationship with one another...It becomes so familiar and comfortable that you or your partner (or both) end up going with the motions, without any signs of independent growth. The same type of dates, in the same way, the same ins and outs of each day... The world is constantly evolving and there's a greater access to resources to be inventive with your own personal growth. If your partner refuses to grow beyond what they know or make the effort to discover a creative variety of ideas to grow your relationship to deeper, higher levels,  you can be sure this quality will seep into your marriage and only be amplified.  As we all know by now, what happens in a relationship is amplified in marriage.

3. No talk or sign of marriage or long term commitment  Yes, in today's world, trust is a major issue along with daddy issues that affects one's commitment levels. Again, growth will bear its fruit in due time. Seriously though, if you're a few years in and you're still avoiding the topic about progressive long - term commitment, you will surely know there are definitely deeper issues that need to be worked through. Unless (you or) your partner actually work through them authentically and consistently, there will be no commitment and quite frankly you'll end up with your masters degree in relationship management and analysis.

4. If you are dependent on your partner for your validation, your worth, the fulfilling of your dreams, passions and happiness then you've gotta think again...

Your partner should simply come along side you and fuel your fire, not be your fire. I often hear the phrase, "my other half", but I beg to challenge this notion. You are your own whole individual and your partner is his own whole individual. Together you build your empire with 100% from each entity.

5. Last but not least, if you enter your relationship, thinking "oh, he'll change, because he loves me, or we'll change together", guuuuuurl, you've got another thing coming.

He'll never change or at least the change will not be authentic if you are his motivation. Instead that person will become dependent on you for their growth in Christ or growth and progress holistically, creating an unhealthy relationship attachment.

ONLY God can change a man! When God changes a man, He changes them from the inside out, targeting the issues that matter and transforming him into the man He was created to be. Ladies, step aside and let God do His work in your man's life.  Let the change be real, lasting and genuine. Your measure? The Consistent fruit of his choices will always speak volumes. Let your man Pursue God's change in Him, while you do the same.

I'd love to hear from you, what were some of the Red Flag Signs you want others to be aware of ?

#relationships #personalgrowth #redflagsigns