Lessons learnt as a Single Mom by Gail Alston

Navigating life as a single mom can be overwhelming at times. It can often feel like a juggling act in which some balls are made of glass and others are made of rubber, the trick is learning to identify which will break if they drop and which will bounce. I am by no means an expert but here are a few lessons that I have learnt in the time that I have been a single mom: Create a routine but also allow some flexibility Children respond well to routines and to structure as they learn what to expect. Recently my son was home sick from school for a few days. Usually he bathes every night. In this instance he bathed one day and the next day it was a cold, miserable and stormy day. It was, in actual fact, the day of my interview with Tasha on the MamaMagicSA Instagram page. That evening was a busy evening and when it was bath time my son did not want to bathe so instead of fighting with him to get him in the bath we decided together that he hadn't been out of the house and hadn't been in contact with any one out of our immediate circle so he wouldn't bathe that night but he would definitely bathe the next. Find quality child care This is especially important for working mom's. The peace of mind that comes with knowing that your child(ren) is/are being taken care whilst you are otherwise occupied is immeasurable. Based on my circumstances I had to find a school that caters to our needs. By that I mean that when I was looking for a school I looked for one that serves meals (lunch) and also provides snacks. I also needed a school whose operating hours were in line with my working hours. Mom guilt is real - Be kind to yourself Being a single mom is not without its challenges. Know that you are doing the best that you can do and your child knows that. I loved having my son home with me during lockdown but when work became more demanding and the pressure increased I had to make the hard decision to enrol my son in a new school. Initially I felt nervous and guilty enrolling him in a new school (his school prior to lock down was closed and we were living in a different suburb), these emotions were valid emotions. For me I only felt at ease once he started school and I could see that he was happy and keen to go to school. Community is important for (y)our mental health Don't underestimate how much of a difference it makes being able to talk to a like minded friend or family member. Circumstances may be different but trust me there is comfort in sharing. The support that (y)our community offers will take a mental load off. Community can be in the form of friends, family, a mom tribe or even your faith community. It takes a village to raise a child but it also takes one to raise a mom. Stay positive. Know that you are stronger than you think you are! Know that your child(ren) is (are) watching you. It's OK to be honest - if you're having a difficult time, explain that things will get better. Stay strong, keep safe and take care mommy's, Lots of love Gail